BloomingWhereImplanted

Those who visit Amazing Lives, the first MissionMiraculous blog, will notice that the second editor's official entry was, as this, typed without spaces. And this is why : when I try to type the title with spaces each space alters my english into a language that I don't recognise, I believe oriental or asian. Hopefully I'll get this sorted out in due course, but I haven't got it sorted out yet.

The reason why I have begun this blog is that from the tiniest detail to the largest landscape MissionMiraculous wishes to embrace relationship, communion and integrity of being and purpose.

As you will see from the by-line to the Amazing Lives blog (a blog that now has come to be a dialogue between the editor and Formart H Sax and thus has ceased temporarily to be a public arena of conversation or communication vehicle and has instead become a behind the scenes in public set of conversations about start up hitches and challenges vis a vis MissionMiraculous the wider project plus blog):

This blog is different. I have no idea how to entice a readership for this blog but I want one. I want one because I have in mind a personal transformation to complement the transformation I have in mind for the entire edifice of 'Mental Health' from its very vocabulary to its grossest most concrete of emanations and thought spun consequences.

Sometimes, you know, I almost begin to wonder whether maybe both Hegel AND Marx got it wrong - that maybe the point is not to interpret the world, not even to 'change the world' in that rather gung ho manner in which Marx conceived it back in the leveller days of the 19th century, but in fact to 'picture the world that we want' and then begin to plan for that picture as a dream coming true, with task lists the lot. It's perhaps an approach that lies closer with Marx than with Hegel in that it involves more than reading and writing and talking.

I fail to be able to imagine how it could become a military adventure, however, and this is an excellent reason for subscribing to MissionMiraculous as a concept-analysis-development-impact organisation. What on earth do I mean by the last description of MM? Remind me again later, I'll give it some thought and extrapolate.

ANYHOO - back to the beginning, this MM blog is about the detail, the individual picturing a better life and heading for it with - What? Determination? Joy? A sun hat? Grim Determination?

Why did the concept of 'grim determination' offer itself to my mind?

Because picturing the life that I want: seeing myself on the beaches of bliss; at the party of personal realisation; holding the w/holiness of health in my entire being; dancing at the dawn of dottiness without a care in the world while balancing an eel on my nose now I'm so well balanced and graceful -

is a project of living that I've come some way in yet have a way to go to attain. And in order to attain it I'm going to have to jettison certain habits of expectation, behaviour, and attachment (addiction) that are a part of the foundation of my 'comfort zone'. It's a comfort zone that threatens my physical health (smoking and lack of exercise and irregular sleeping and eating patterns), that holds back my efficiency (poor time management, lack of a regular structure to my week), that dampens and lowers my spirits and my self respect (domestic crisis-management culture in which nothing gets done that doesn't absolutely have to get done and doesn't get done even then if it's going to cost money).

In due course I'm sure you'd like to hear about the progress I HAVE made in my life since 1997, that year of significance of the beginning of the Blair administration. And you shall be enlightened with some history of that in a future editorial entry. When I say editoria obviously in t his particular blog you need not be looking for dialogues to develop nor secondary contributors to be named. This is going to be the journal of Calamity Jane's journey toward a dream come true. My dream will have come true when I:
- am an established non-smoker
- have established a regular physical exercise pattern, form/s to be described
- have de-cluttered my house from loft to kitchen and front door
- ditto garden
- have created a working office in the working office designated area
- have created a bedroom for myself
- have created and established a proper structure for my days and weeks including
- eating habits
- sleeping routines
- creative time built in timetabled
- MM time built in, timetabled
- voluntary commitments timetabled
- domestic work timetabled
- developed a regular, independent, form of income that meets my needs as a provider and a householder
- found best possible support through which to withdraw from psychiatric medications
- ditto to develop a successful alternative to such medications through holistic and life style measures.
And all of these routines monitored, recorded and evaluated. Health charts, photographs, videos the lot. Why am I making such huge weather out of a simple change of life style project?

Because frankly, (a) By turning my life and its development into a cultural project of the variety 'one woman transforms her existence to defy the expectations of psychiatry' (as they were inscribed by inference if not dictat by her consultant nhs psychiatrist by 2000), then providing that I succeed then I shall have also offered a fully documented 'case study' for 'recovery from psychiatry' and this could, just could become a loose template for a more popular development of journeys away from psychiatry by individuals who have been labelled within its frameworks as suffering from 'severe and enduring mental illnesses' such as 'Bi-Polar Disorder' (my label) and 'Schizophrenia'.

To achieve my goals I need readers of this blog. I need as many readers as I can get. I need as much encouragement and support as I can get. Top of my list is becoming a non smoker, I've smoked 3 sovereign's while writing this entry, if you get my drift - worry not, however, dear reader - I have also made an appointment to see a quit smoking support nurse next week and this weeks ash wednesday was indeed ash but in my house pancake day comes again next tuesday for a second start at lent..